No Trespassers!
There is a sign on my block of flats that bears two words: “No Trespassers!”
I am a lover of the notion that this sign is effective. That a trespasser, a ne’er do well, with mischief in his eyes and bad intentions in his heart, sets out to trespass against us in the block. He is committed and set on his path, to trespass in one way or another. What he will do when he finally trespasses, he knows not - to trespass is his only aim. Everything else is secondary.
“Time for a trespass!” he thinks as he approaches the block.
He may well be rubbing his hands with thieving or even murderous glee, or chuckling at all the nefarious deeds he is just about to do. He may even hum himself a little tune, a hymn of encouragement, the theme song of an antihero. He sneaks and shuffles up to the block, now ready to strike for a most terrible trespass.
And then suddenly - he is all aquiver. For he has spied the guarding sign, spelling out quite clearly that there are to be “No Trespassers!”
He feels singled out and targeted, the lonely trespasser, as if some elaborate security system has been watching him hawkishly, ready to pounce on his next overly ambitious move.
“But, but…” he mumbles, stumbling backwards, “all I want is a trespass…”
And the sign leans and leers over him now, savouring his discomfort. "No Trespassers!" it commands, "No" space "Trespassers", exclamation mark!
He raises his hands to protect his trespassing face, unsure of what the sign might do next.
"Please, please, stop it, stop".
The sign stretches out further still, looming over the would-be trespasser quite terribly. And now he, mischief unfulfilled, turns, tears and mucus streaming, scrabbling and scrambling to get as far away as he can as quickly as might be possible.
The sign is well-pleased. Another trespasser dealt with and disposed of - let all who come near pay heed. For the sign will not forgive them their trespasses - and nor will we who live here in this place.