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Let Me Eat Turnips

Amidst the most recent food shortage, it was with delight that I greeted the news that a Politician had instructed us to eat turnips. “Yes, turnips,” I…

Aug 27 •

July 2023

The Long Unwinding

Written with Gutter Street for their Red Road Writers Club.

Jul 30 •

No Trespassers!

There is a sign on my block of flats that bears two words: “No Trespassers!” I am a lover of the notion that this sign is effective. That a trespasser…

Jul 1 •

June 2023

Some dear friends have recently had a baby. I, in all my humble and terrible generosity, decided to buy them a card to celebrate that fact. The…

Jun 26 •

April 2023

Extremes on the Subject of Objects

“Nothing is but what it is,” he said in response. “That hat,” he pointed at the hat, “is just a fucking hat. It serves a purpose, shelters you from the…

Apr 23 •

Elspeth was a dancer - though she wasn’t very good. She had been coerced into it at a young age and through some loose determination and a lack of…

Apr 3 •

February 2023

“How can you grapple with what consumes you?” She asks, her face creasing in bemusement. I had said the phrase with such pride, deep resonance and high…

Feb 16 •

A Can of Fizzy Pop

Ermintrude was her name - she did not know why her parents had inflicted this upon her. But still she struggled gamely on, through every school register…

Feb 8 •

I am in a room with several others - it might be 7, it might be 9, I’m not sure and I can’t be bothered to count. It’s definitely not an even number - I…

Feb 5 •

January 2023

Doodling is always fun - sometimes useful, often not. But utility is unimportant, for there exists no moment that is not enhanced by the taking out of a…

Jan 16 •

December 2022

Christmas Day is arrogant and lazy. Christmas Day is arrogant and lazy - all the preceding days do the actual graft. It will be mid-December for me…

Dec 24, 2022 •

Take Them to the Wood

How to describe a place to someone who has never been there, how to set the scene. Because it is vital that they feel as I felt when I was up through…

Dec 13, 2022 •

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